it was a beautiful and emotional day...
saw a friend playing his amazing music
and after a 10 minute conversation of catching up,
i felt a wave come over me...
the same questions over and over.
am i on the right path, is teaching art enough
to make a difference in the world (for me), why does there
seem to be a space that i need to fill...
so, i pulled over on a whim into marvin gardens.
and found the perfect white sparkling and flawed
buddha head. (almost identical to the one i had in my mind
to fill this spot that i see on my drive up our driveway
every evening after work)
as i was paying, and saying that i really needed to find this...
my eyes started to tear up and a conversation started.
the owner asked me if it was a person that i was having difficulty with
(and i should have said, "yes, me"...)
but i told her it was about my path in life that i was questioning.
this woman so sweetly and compassionately
listened, shared some wisdom and personal stories... and listened
some more. i told her about india and the kids... and my students...
she gave me my purchase and then walking me out,
she reached into a group of other buddha heads, pulled one
off the table and gave it to me. she said it was for my
desk in my classroom - to share with my students.
so now, i have 2 reminders -
that everything is impermanent,
compassion is the most important thing, besides love
and that the kindness of strangers
is what makes the world a safer place for my
heart to be...
wishing you all get the compassion
you need, a hug when you'd like one
and the love you deserve.
thank you amabel:)
thank you amabel:)
xoj
4 comments:
lovely post. i too have been having many questions about my place in life at the moment. maybe it is spring. lovely this woman listened and was so kind.
yes suki,
maybe to be awakened means to question the meaning of life...
a lovely man i met in india said to me, "it's okay to be searching"... and that is soothing my soul right now. yes, i am so lucky i stumbled into that place yesterday and was able to also speak to my partner about it... to try to uncover some of the layers last night:)
sending peace to you,
jennifer
Hi Jen, Such a lovely post!
I feel it is not only OK to be searching, but imperative...search and you'll find! And, it is also very ok to rest in the "not-knowing" for a while...perhaps a sense of free-fall, wondering if the Big Lap is still there waiting to cushion the fall. If all the knots are neatly tied, there is no where to expand into!
Breathe....
Be patient....
Love...
hi bhavani,
thank you so much for sharing your heart and wisdom... yes, i think that a bit of freefalling would do me good at the moment... not so much thinking and more just feeling whatever it is i need to feel. and trusting, that i am right where i need to be for now.
love,
jennifer
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